You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit and in the middle of a dirt road.
You used to 'drag' Main.
You called most friends by a nickname.
You could never buy cigarettes because the store clerks knew how old you were.
Even if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents.
Besides, where would you get the money?
When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy your cigarettes, you had to go out into the country and drive on back roads to smoke them.
It was cool to date somebody from a neighboring town.
The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
You didn't give directions by street names.
You used THE stop light
as a reference. Turn by Nelson's house and it's four houses left of
the track field.
The golf course had only 9 holes.
You couldn't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend / girlfriend.
The town next to you was considered 'trashy' or 'snooty,' but was actually just like your town.
You referred to anyone with a house newer then 1950 as the 'rich' people.
You could usually find anyone at the local gas station or the dairy bar.
You've pee'd in a cornfield.
You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town or one of your friends driving a grain truck to school occasionally.
The gym teacher suggested you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.
When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5 people would pull over and ask if you wanted a ride.
Your teachers called you by your older siblings' names and remembered when they taught your parents.
You could charge at the local hardware store or write checks without ID.
There was no Mc Donalds.
I would not have wanted to have been raised any other way! Would you?
“My Favorite Things”
Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Cadillac's and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short, shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.
When the joints ache,
When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Updated Song Titles
Herman's Hermits - Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
Ringo Starr - I Get By With a Little Help From My Depends
The Bee Gees - How Can You Mend a Broken Hip?
Bobby Darin - Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash!
Roberta Flack - The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
Johnny Nash - I Can't See Clearly Now
Paul Simon - Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
The Commodores - Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
Leo Sayer - You Make Me Feel Like Napping
The Temptations - Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
Abba - Denture Queen
Tony Orlando - Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall
Helen Reddy - I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore
Leslie Gore - It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To
